haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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