It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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