roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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