I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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