The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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