I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
