i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
