Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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