Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I just found a bag of teeth...
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
