You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
