Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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