OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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