He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I am spending my child support on dildos
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
