did you get engaged???
Kiss
Puke
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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