You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize