I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
