Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
