Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
