Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
i think im in europe. pls send help
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
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