Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
