when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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