The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
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