im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
