What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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