There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
