Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
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