She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
