We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize