I'm gonna have a badass scar
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
