Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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