the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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