Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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