Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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