Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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