my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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