It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
The air was thick with penises
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
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