I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize