she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
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