can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Operation Purity has been aborted
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
