i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
She bit a glass in half.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
