The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
