Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
