I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
