super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
