fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
