Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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