my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I've blown a few things in my day
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
