I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
