forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
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