He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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