Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
