haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
im holly from the hills drunk
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
