I bet he comes in French.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
