he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
