I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
