I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
