Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
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