Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
