Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
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