I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
