is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
